Well, I guessed it will gonna be another emo post. Has been a long time since the last time I emo and I wrote to my bloggie. Suddenly, I felt that many things had changed.
The feelings in me are getting faded. We are now like strangers. Seriously, I don't think that you care for whatever thing I do and say right? Actually, I'm recalling when was the last time I teared infront of my comp when a song is playing. Guess what, I did it again, now. This song is an old song that makes me think of many thing once again. The main question the always hold me back from going forward, Do I still really love you? If no, why I will still thinking of you? We become like this is it because of me and I made these?
I lost my confident, I don't wish to be hurt again by anyone out there. 5 years, the pain is unimaginable. I'm just a ordinary but weak guy on the inside. No one knows how I cry in my heart as I smile loudly, crazily, joyfully outside. Is hard for me to control my emotions especially late night, just have to force myself to do something, not to listen songs or even think of other stuff but only homework and revisions. I'm depressed deeply, besides sports I have nothing to put myself away from thinking about the past and now, the present and coming days.
As everyone said, everyone has his/her own silver linings. When I'm crazily over you, you're just perfect in every aspect, but why now I felt that I'm trying my best to be friendly but the response I get was as if I always being irritated? Am I deserve to be treated like that or is my own problem that I couldn't be normal to you?
sigh, haihhhhhhh....................................................
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